Strengthen your own self soothing capacity and resilience. Recognize and respond intelligently to the attachment patterns at play. Create trust, good communication and connection. Physically hold yourself – literally give yourself a hug or put your hand on your heart.
These are suggestions.
Please do what feels right and comfortable for you.
Physically hold yourself – literally give yourself a hug or put your hand on your heart.
Tap lightly on your chest, and say to yourself, “I’m okay, even though I’m having big feelings and sensations.”
Say to yourself, “My feelings make sense. I make sense to me.” (self soothing)
Feel one place in your body that feels grounded. Stay with that place for 3 breaths minimum.
Notice what is really happening. Take the time to feel your own feeling – what is happening? What is the need behind the big feeling?
Start with speaking your truth to yourself..”I am feeling…(insert feeling).” Put words to your emotions and send warmth to your own heart and experience.
What is underneath the feeling? Misunderstanding, lack of empathy, lack of space/presence, lack of support, lack of respect or boundaries, etc…
From here you can speak to the other person.
I notice… (what actually happened…state simply).
I feel.. (fill in the emotion that is arising.)
I have a need for… (love, connection, respect, follow through, acceptance… so many options here).